Hana-hen: Prologue

The salty smell of the sea… The flowing of the waves… And the movement of a steady ship…

I slowly opened my eyes, the reality of the situation hitting me harshly, like a huge rock.

It was hurting badly.

I jumped up, sitting up immediately on the bed. Across of me was a mirror, reflective my undignified profile.

“Kaori. Lie back down. You still have a fever,” Nodoka was beside me, holding my hand between her’s, with an unreadable expression on her face. It was really complex; there was practically no real emotion behind it. Or maybe, too many emotions and the inability to show them all. Her voice was slightly wavering. It was almost as if she was holding tears in her throat.

She gently supported me back down on the bed. However, there was a stinging pain of uneasiness which made it impossible for me to lie back down completely. I sat up again, and Nodoka didn’t stop me. She sighed softly, and finally, tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Nodoka. Just… what is going on?” I could briefly remember the situation in the capital. The marching in the streets, the screams, the shouts, the shootings, the blood, the fire, the cries for help, the banging on the door, the fights, the riots, the mess, the blood, the confusion, the chaos, the blood, the fire, the fear, the screams, the shouts, the blood, the fire, the blood…

Headache. Headache. Headache. Headache. Headache…

I shook. I held my head as the memories flooded in, the pain creating invisible scars all over my body. I couldn’t move. I was paralysed in that instant, and the fear of the possibility of losing someone precious hit me painfully. I cried out the name of the one I cared the most.

“Kaoru!! Kaoru! Where is he?!?!” I turned to Nodoka in a fluster, as the final moments which ended my memories returned.

Kaoru was with me. He smiled kindly, but with a tint sadness and loneliness. The moment we hugged, I remember his final words before we kissed…

Nodoka firmly held my shoulders and, with a serious look on her face, she looked into my eyes as the tears continued to flow. She shook her head and then hugged me tightly. Izumi-san came through the door silently and looked away when his eyes met mine. He walked towards us, and put his hand onto Nodoka’s shoulder, passing onto her some of his strength. The two of us trembled in each others’ arms as we cried on, the reality hurting and burning our hearts.

Just how many pieces has my heart already been broken into? It was definitely not a number a human would be able to count altogether…

Nodoka released me and then, wiping the tears away from my eyes, she forced a smile. No matter how forced it was, though, I could see the effort and kindness she was giving me. She was suffering together with me, going through all of this terror and sadness even though she has her happiness right beside her. Nodoka reached out a hand towards Izumi-san, who took it without hesitation and warmed it in his hands. Nodoka’s other hand touched my wet cheek before moving it to my hands. It was cold with tears.

“Kaori… Listen to me very carefully,” Nodoka said those words softly, almost like a whisper, “Asami and Kaoru… They are no longer with us anymore.”

“What… do you mean?”

“They wanted us to leave, and bring you along with us,” Izumi-san’s voice was different, cracking under a sense of sorrow and agony. Then, releasing Nodoka’s hand, he turned away into a corner. His shoulders shook.

The ship let out a cry as the engine quickened.

“They… wanted us to leave?” I couldn’t understand it, yet tears continued to flow again. Nodoka wiped them away and replied to my questions calmly, even though her lower lip was quivering with grief.

“They wanted to protect us. Kaoru wanted to protect you. Asami wanted to protect us, as our best friend,” her tears started again, “Asami wanted to tell you that, instead of crying over her sacrifice, you should smile and carrying on living, as a reply to her last service to you. Kaoru, on the other hand…”

I couldn’t listen anymore of it. I jumped out of the bed and went to the window, threatening to jump out of it and into the sea. The engines screamed again.

And so did Nodoka. She let out a cry of shock and held me back, pulling with all her might as she cried out my name. I could also feel Izumi-san’s hands as he helped Nodoka to hold me back.

I almost wanted to scream. I tried to scream. However, when I opened my mouth, no voice came out. There was a lump in my throat. I couldn’t scream out the names of the people whom I’ve already lost. Even in this last moment, I couldn’t do anything.

Finally, I found my voice. The engine screamed.

“LET ME GO!! I WANT TO GO BACK!! LET ME GO!!!”

“Kaori! Please, we don’t want to lose you! Asami and Kaoru did this for you! Don’t let their sacrifices go to waste!!”

“I DON’T WANT THIS! No… LET ME GO!! URGH!!!”

I tried my best to twist out of their hands, but Izumi-san gripped tight, and didn’t let go.

“Kaoru…!! Kaoru.. Wanted to tell you that… He was sorry for NOT BEING ABLE TO KEEP THE PROMISE!!!!”

I broke. I couldn’t fight anymore. I broke down, my body feeling weak and unable to move. I dropped down onto the floor and limped there, with uncontrollable tears.

“P-Promise…?” I forced a smile and looked up. I knew that I looked pathetic, but I couldn’t really think much about anything else.

My fear… It had came true.

“I, Mikage Kaoru, promise to be the best man Shimoda Kaori can ever have, and will always be by her side, even in life and death. I will be beside her till the end of time and till the ends of the earth. I will protect her with all my heart, and promise to forever love and cherish her.”

I cried.

There was nothing more to do than to cry. The final words of the people I loved returned to me in that sorrowful moment. Had I accepted reality?

“Kaori. Do your best! Be the proud princess whom I’ve always took care of, and became a good friend with.”

“I’m sorry… Kaori. Thank you. I love you. Farewell.”

Was that, a sign that the world had ended.

No, that wasn’t it.

The world haven’t ended. Not yet.

However, my world had. The moment Kaoru kissed me farewell… That had marked the end of my world.